On Purpose (Staying On Track)

Can you believe it, the year is almost half over!  There are probably so many promises and goals that were set since the beginning of the year.  How have you done?  Are there any promises that you made to yourself, but were not kept?  What about the goals that were established that you thought were for your own good?  Do you complete them?  It can be so easy to get off track and realize that you did not do what you said you were going to do.

Florence Scovel Shinn is quoted as saying "If one asks for success and prepares for failure, he will get the situation he has prepared for."  There are various factors that can get a person off track.  Not living a purposeful life is one of them.  Aimlessly wandering through life without a sense of purpose will surely derail an individual at any give time.  Living with purpose and being conscious daily of your thoughts and actions brings awareness as to whether you are moving toward your goals or away from them.

Self-acceptance or a lack thereof is another factor that gets a person off track.  A lack of self-acceptance can defeat your reason for trying to change.  Self-doubt and low self-esteem robs an individual of his/her motivation to do something about their circumstances.  Learn to appreciate who you are and develop habits for success that keep you on track despite challenges.  The feelings of a sense of accomplishment provides the momentum that will help you to continue to move forward and stay on track.

Lastly, too much hesitation which can turn into a delay, a postponement, procrastination, then failure to launch is the enemy that needs to be conquered.  When you live with purpose your actions can be on purpose.  Re-evaluate where you are right now in your life.  If the promises and goals you have made to yourself need to be changed that's perfectly okay.  It is when you lose sight of what matters to you and don't stay on track is when you lose a part of yourself.  Ask yourself in what areas of your life you want success, then prepare for it.  Get back on track and do it on purpose! 

Dr. Yvonne Corppetts

March Madness

If you are in touch with the basketball season you know that the month of March is the start of March Madness.  This period marks the beginning of the top 32-ranked college teams that dwindle down to sixteen, eight, Final Four and then the championship between the two best college basketball teams.  Unlike the pro teams where it's best four out of seven, these teams play each other one time and it's win or go home.  During this time there is a frenzie of activites, challenges, anger, grief due to loss and exhilaration due to winning.

Life at times is like March Madness.  Individuals can become consumed with competing with others.  There are always challenges lurking around the corner each and every day.  A stressful lifestyle can lead you to feeling overwhelmed where self-doubt and anger creeps in.  Particularly in our fast-paced, ever changing society a sense of madness can over take anyone grieving over a loss; a loss of security, a job, sense of accomplishment, a relationship, etc.

Get out of life's madness by doing constructive things that will nurture you and others.  Dare to be yourself.  Do not live with regret, but embrace with gratitude today.  Smile often and carry a sense of humor with you.  Do great things and small things.  Be good to yourself and others.  Share yourself with others so that they get the benefits from what you have learned that could help them.  Be willing to let go of whatever or whoever is holding you from the goodness there is.

Take the time to reflect on where you find anger or a great deal of madness in your life. Don't you think it is time to lighten up?  Take charge and make a change now!

 Dr. Yvonne Corppetts

Leap for Joy!

What makes you happy?  This may seem like a simple question, however if you are not in tune with who you are and what you are about, it can be a difficult question to answer.  Life does not bring about happiness.  Your experiences in life and what you make of those experiences can bring about happiness or sadness based on your thoughts about what is happening.  Do you see it as a good or bad?

What is important to you?  Family, work, recreation, money, education, spirituality, etc. can be areas of your life that are important.  So what do you do to show that you value what is important to you?  Are you letting family members know how important they are to you?  Do you accomplish your job at work with pride?  How about spending time simply relaxing and enjoying yourself?  Are you in balance with spending and saving your money?  When was the last time you earnestly got in touch with the spiritual side of your being?

Today is a great day to leap for joy!!!  Rather than focus on negativity in your life see what you can do today to turn on the joy in your life.  It does not mean ignoring the reality of hardships and tragedies that life sometimes bring, but practice love and joy.  Do something good for you and someone else today.  Today leap for joy!

Dr. Yvonne Corppetts

Get Real!

What a way to start off a new year, by being for real! 

January 1, like the beginning of the week or beginning of the month becomes a starting point for many of us to begin new goals or resolutions.  The problem is that when you do not meet your goals the tendency is to put off getting back on track by waiting for that next "perfect" time to start.

Get real and make changes that you think are important for you by starting right now.  You may need to research a problem or dilemma a little more.  You may need to find resources that will help you, however getting started begins with the thought and first action that you take.  Get real about who you really are, what you really want, and what you really need in your life.  Clean out the clutter of old ways of thinking and acting that are not healthy and prosperous for you.

Get real and start to live each day in the moment as though it may be your last.  This means saying please, thank you, and love you more often.  It means being appreciative of people who you may take for granted and being grateful for what you have as you strive for other goals.  Use the following quotes to appreciate the value of one day in your life:

"We create our fate every day we live."  -Henry Miller
"We die daily.  Happy those who daily come to life as well."  -George MacDonald 
"It's better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life."  -Sister Elizabeth Kenny
"Dollars cannot buy yesterday."  -Admiral Harold R. Stark

Get real!  Life can be good however there are going to be some down days.  The ebbs and flows of your life are what make you who you are.  Herb Gardner said, "You have got to own your days and live them, each one of them, every one of them, or else the years go right by and none of them belong to you."  A happy new year comes one day at a time.  Live your best life one day at a time!!!

Victory Starts Here!

During my travels to Fort Jackson, South Carolina I am always met with a sign that boldly declares “Victory Starts Here.”  In fact, this slogan appears many times on Fort Jackson, the largest and most active Initial Entry Training Center in the U.S. Army (www.jackson.army.mil).  Thousands of men and women have begun their military careers through basic training and moved on to other assignments.  Fort Jackson is the training ground that provides the skills, knowledge, and know-how to be victorious to serve in peacetime operations and times of conflict. 

That’s when I had the Aha! moment that victory and success are like twins.  When you become victorious you become successful.  You become victorious over the challenges that could have held you back.  And where there is success, victory follows.  The enemy was faced and defeated.  You cannot have one (victory) without the other (success).  So it is with you being successful.  There is no success without u (you).

The enemy for many individuals includes self-doubt, poor self-image and esteem, and a lack of motivation.  Add to this mix, no clearly defined realistic goals, ineffective problem-solving and decision-making skills, and not managing stress; you have a recipe for living a chaotic, unfulfilled, miserable life.  Now is the time to take your life back!

Despite the obstacles that will occur in life, understand that victory starts here with you.  You have the power to be victorious with a mindset that you will face the enemy (those booby traps in life that might throw you for a loop) and you will overcome.  Understand that you have the power based on your thought patterns and behaviors to build a defense so that during the peace times of your life and times of conflict you come out victorious.

Learn to release yourself from guilt of past perceived indiscretions.  Let go of the shame you have on yourself.  Stop the blaming of others for where you are in your life when you can now take charge and move forward.  It always sounds “easier said than done” yet change can begin the moment you take action.  When you look in the mirror tell yourself “Victory Starts Here!"

Out of the Closet and Into the Light

As a little girl I use to watch scary movies every now and then.  I remember two things would happen; (1) someone peeped into the closet (or basement) to discover a monster hiding there or (2) someone got in the closet to hide from the monster.  Either way closets have gotten their fair share of bad raps! 

Deep dark secrets become the closet where you go to and hide.  If anyone knew would they like me?  Am I the only one in the world with this issue, you might ask.  More often than not, despite our unique differences, there are bound to be others who have had similar experiences that you have had or are experiencing.

Getting out of the closet and up from the basement of your life may have repercussions.  It is important therefore, to seek professional help, whether it is medical, mental health, legal issues, etc.  These resources can guide you to a better understanding of your life circumstances and may be the help that you need.

Too often however we allow the monster in our life to grow big because we have not learned to face the monster and then let it go from our lives.  When you expose the monster you might see a new lease on life.  Charles A. Beard said, “When it is dark enough, you can see the stars” while Robert Alden declared, “there is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle” (Cook, 1993, p. 424).

Below are ways that you might conquer the monster and come into the light:

(1)   Know that everyone (including you) cannot escape being in the valley, better known as down in the dumps, at some time in life.  It is called living.

(2)   Expose what’s ailing you.  Talk to appropriate people who can support your well-being by providing information that will be helpful to you and not a hindrance.

(3)   You are not alone in this world so be careful not to isolate yourself.

(4)   Utilize the darkness for rest and rejuvenation of your body, mind, and spirit.

(5)   Use negative emotions (fear, anger, frustration, boredom, etc.) as a barometer of what is going on in your life that needs to change!

(6)   Critical self-reflection can help you change.  You must however take off your mask of deception, remove the rose-colored glasses that tells you everything is going well when it is not, and open your eyes, hears, and heart to the truth.

Once you come out of the darkness and into the light be authentic (the real you).  Promote peace and contentment in your life and surround yourself as much as possible with the energy of goodness that comes from people, places, and things that bring well-being to you.  Conquer that monster and bring it to light!     

Reference:

Cook, J. (1993).  The rubicon dictionary of positive, motivational, life-affirming & inspirational quotations.  Newington, CT:  Rubicon Press, Inc.

Recession-Proof Your Life

When you think of a recession you might automatically think of bad economic times.  A recession indeed can be related to a reduction in economic activity.  There are many people whose lives have been negatively impacted by lengthy periods of unemployment, loss of a house, disharmony within the family, and much more.  It certainly can be a turning point in one’s life, but it does not have to be terminal.

In today’s shaky market, stocks and bonds are not the keys to your well-being.  Yes, money is good to have and allows you the opportunity to do many things and buy many things, but finance is only one aspect of your life.  Your well-being is dependent upon a foundation whose strength is built on your self-esteem (how you value yourself; self-worth) and your self-image (how you see yourself).  Like the financial market, your self-esteem may wane here and there based upon incidents throughout your life.  However, unlike the market, you do not have to hit rock bottom nor take years to recover.

Recession can be a time of recess!  Remember recess time as a child!  Take a break from what you have gotten in the habit of doing.  Reflect on whether your habits are doing you more good or more harm?  A recession can also be a time to relax.  It is easy to become uptight and hurried from living a busy, full-scheduled life.  It’s even easier to lose sight of goals you had for your life.  Couples forget the joy they once had in each other’s company, a job becomes a chore, and bills replace your purpose in life. 

Recession-proof your life so that you are living with purpose and contentment:

1.      Decide what you really want in your life and make it a priority to strive for those goals.  You will not get what you want unless you go for it. 

2.      Maintain good family relationships and friendships.  They are a buffer to some of the harsh realities of life.

3.      Ask for help.  Ask for what you want.  You may very well get it.

4.      Don’t sell yourself short.  Stop comparing yourself to others.  Role models and mentors are effective for self-improvement; however be you at your best.

5.      Stay on course regardless.  Survival takes front row, center stage, however many of us are not in this category although it may feel like it at times.  Consider the homeless and hungry and you get a better perspective of your own life.  During tough times you may need to cut back drastically but always keep your compass set to where you need to be headed.

6.      Stay balanced.  Set goals for different aspects of your life (family, career, education, finances, social, recreation, spiritual, physical health) for overall well-being.

Today is the day you can have a new lease on life.  No longer bound by negative self-talk and woe-is-me thinking; recession-proof your life.  Get Ready!  Get Set!!  Get Going!!!